Did I understand correctly?
The power of giving back.
There is a moment, in coaching and communication, that is often underestimated.
No, it’s not listening and it’s not even analysis… nor is it the ability to ask the right question.
It’s giving back.
To give back means to share what you have heard and return it to the other person in a new voice, not transformed but enriched with details. It’s like an “intelligent” mirror: it doesn’t just reflect but adds light, depth, perspective.
Beyond active listening.
Many talk (only) about active listening.
It’s a fundamental concept but it risks remaining sterile if it’s not followed by an equally powerful act: giving back what you have received.
The coach, the consultant but also the leader, the colleague or the Professional who communicates, do not just “hold onto the words” but put them back into circulation.
Giving back is that moment when the Client, the interlocutor or the Team feels recognized because their words come back with a meaning they hadn’t grasped on their own. It’s a form of echo that doesn’t repeat but amplifies.
Giving back is generating awareness.
Imagine a coaching conversation.
The person speaks, shares difficulties, desires, doubts.
You listen.
But if you just nod or make a note, the process remains suspended.
The magic happens when you say:
“What I hear in your words is this…”
or:
“What I get is that, behind the problem, there is a search for recognition, for freedom, for balance.”
In that instant, you are “provoking a reaction”… you are inviting the other person to “look at themselves with new eyes”, or maybe to “dig deeper”… you are not “questioning their status” but you are “entering their experience, their situation”… You are offering a “different” point of view.
Giving back becomes an identity mirror, a tool that brings out what was already present but still hidden (and unexpressed).
Giving back and communication: the value in “reshaping”.
In the world of communication, the power of giving back is even more evident.
Let’s think of a brand, a Company, a Professional: telling your story doesn’t just mean saying who you are but allowing those who listen to you to recognize themselves in your words.
The copywriter, the designer, the storyteller have this function: to take what the Company brings, its stories, its values, its experiences and give them back with a communicative form that makes them readable, memorable, shareable… simply “cross-cutting”.
The Client, reading that text or looking at that image, thinks: “Yes, this is exactly what I wanted to say but didn’t know how.”
Effective communication is a (continuous) giving back that orders, clarifies, amplifies and simplifies.
Giving back is an act of responsibility.
Attention: giving back is never neutral.
Every time you give something back – in coaching as in communication – you exercise a “power”. You can illuminate or confuse, you can clarify or manipulate.
This is why giving back is an act of ethical responsibility.
Giving back does not mean imposing your point of view but giving back the meaning that emerges from the other’s words. It’s a delicate balance: you are both a filter and an amplifier at the same time.
The transformative power of giving back.
If done well, giving back produces three concrete effects:
- Clarity, where the other person sees their situation more clearly;
- Recognition, in which they feel understood, welcomed, not judged;
- Activation, in which giving back becomes a push to action, because it provides new keys to interpretation.
No advice, no magic formula… just the ability to give back to the other what they have brought, in a form that helps them take a step forward.
Giving back and the future.
We live in a world where people seek quick answers, standard solutions, “tricks” that simplify complexity: the real innovation, in coaching and communication, is not to add more but to “give back with quality what is already there”.
The future of relationships – personal, professional, corporate – will be increasingly linked to this ability: to take the flow of information (emotions and stories) and give it back to the world in a meaningful way.
Because the truth is simple: listening is important but giving back changes people.
And you? When you communicate, do you really give back what you have heard… or do you just replicate?
